Monday, February 15, 2010
The Final Report
Sometimes when Delora listens to people talking fast in Spanish she is like the animal in the Far Side comic picking out a few select words: blah,blah,blah,blah,blah, GOOD BOY!
This is how Delora listens to her Pet Detective and her interpretor at their final meeting. They sit in a cramped office, like William Hurt's in the movie Body Heat, amidst stacks of papers and mementos crowding every surface. He is polite, professional, and deferential when offering a beautifully typed, albeit thin, report on his best paper stock. Delora pretends to follow along as he reads each hand-stamped page.
With the saddest possible face, he reports that Thunder is most probably not dead, blah, blah, since very reliable records are kept in the city of Madrid regarding animals that have been injured or killed. He confirms the area he has searched, blah, blah. He is sorry that he hasn't been able to find Thunder. After all, he too, is the owner of a miniature dachshund, blah,blah. THEN, Delora hears the one Spanish word that peaks her interest: blah, blah, FINCA, blah, blah!
Que? Delora perks up. Por Favor, una finca? Then, blah,blah our PD explains that he believes that Thunder Perkins is probably living happily on a finca somewhere outside of Madrid! Delora's heart skips as she realizes that she has been duped by, quite possibly, the smartest male dauschund on the planet. Here she is, like William Hurt in that second to last scene in Body Heat, realizing that Kathleen Turner didn't actually die in the fire! She had planned to dupe him all along! Delora flashes back to a few clues from Thunder, the canine Kathleen Turner, and now it all makes sense: Thunder's guilty look that final day together on the couch; the chicken left in his bowl signaling his loss of appetite, or a diet designed to enable slipping out of a harness; ears perked with interest at the mention of an invitation to a finca! Now it all makes sense.
Delora recalls friends who had, in the past, smirked a little when Delora reported signs of Thunder's high intelligence. But what dog of average intelligence manages to escape from a harness and get himself furloughed to a finca outside of a city he's never liked? What dog with less than a gargantuan IQ manages to plot an escape from a Chica he dislikes? Other humans have underestimated Thunder for years, but not Delora. She alone realizes that Thunder Perkins has figured out a way to get to a finca, before Delora herself has!
Delora can barely keep it together as she politely thanks the PD and gathers her things. Delora smells a rat.