Monday, December 28, 2009

The Pet Psychic

My sister recommends that we call the renowned pet psychic, Joy Carroll, to enlist her help in finding Thunder.  She senses my East Coast reaction and explains...I know, I know, sounds kooky.  But she tells a compelling story about some very sane friends of hers who were missing their cat for 4 days when they were persuaded to call Joy.  Joy instructed them to think of a place where the cat could meet them and she would transfer the information to the cat psychically. Yup, my sister says, that very afternoon the cat met them at their meeting place.

That`s great, I`m thinking, but what are the limitations of where I can tell Thunder to meet me?  The above mentioned cat was around Venice, California and met his owners in a special box they leave outside to trap wild animals.  We live in an apartment building in Madrid and a miniature dachshund can`t exactly reach up and ring the buzzer.  Besides, we`re in Switzerland now.  Can she send instructions to take Iberian Airlines flight 629 to Geneva?  Then, just as I`m getting used to the idea of having a pet psychic in my life, I get the bad news from my sister that Joy Carroll, the famous cat finder, is on vacation anyway.  Luckily though, Joy has left a back-up psychic`s name.

The back-up psychic won`t site statistics about the percentage of pets she`s found historically, but does state that she specializes in lost dogs, cats, horses(?), gunea pigs and snakes.  Her website instructs us to fill out a form about when and where Thunder was lost, and to give her any details we can, so that she can locate the spirit of our dog. She also instructs us on how to use Paypal.  She will ask the spirit if the body is working, whether the heart is pumping blood, whether there is any injury.  She will ask the spirit nicely if, in fact, it is still inhabiting the body.  (Can you think of a more delicate way to phrase that "condition" when the spirit no longer occupies the body???)

If the spirit is, ahem, still occupying the body, she will be happy to ask the animal for details about where it is.  She warns that the animal`s perceptions and use of language may not be completely accurate, but she will do her best to describe, as she is told, what the dog`s surroundings look like, whether he is with anyone, what the place looks like, etc.  She warns that if the dog says he is in a white room, it may actually be tan or beige.  Again, she cannot be responsible if our pet can`t tell white from beige.  She also warns that we have to take the dog`s sightline into account.  We have to see things from his vantage point. This is unfortunate, since Thunder is about 5 inches off the ground.  I imagine one of us pulling the children on their bellies on a little device with wheels through the streets of Madrid looking for a beige or a white door. I wonder if there is an extra cost for translating, through the spirit, any Spanish words.

No matter, we`re filling out the form tonight, and looking forward to conversing with our pet`s spirit (and hopefully, his uninjured body) and will keep you posted when he gets in touch.

11 comments:

Mental P Mama said...

I am just sick.

Anonymous said...

oh, no! thunder, hear their call! i am keeping my fingers crossed for you all...alison

Mrs. McC said...

oh, your chica must feel horrible. I hope Thunder is just fine, and that chica is not too hard on herself. We all make mistakes.

Anonymous said...

Please tell me the chica is fired!

Leah said...

uuggg, I am sick with despair.. the only advice I can give is that as an emotional eater, you should take up emotional eating-- because I hear, the chocolate in Switzerland, is tasty.

Sending positive vibes your way!

Anonymous said...

We are all here praying that Thunder remebers to look up!

Anonymous said...

your chica who gets paid or your chica who was born of you?

Deb in Spain said...

The one who gets paid to take care of the dogs!!

Maria said...

So sad!!! Has Pet Psychic come up with any clues???

Deb in Spain said...

The pet psychic hasn't gotten back in touch yet... waiting with baited breath.

Mrs. McC said...

Paid to take care of the dog and (oh no she didn't) left Thunder out tied up? She shouldn't just be fired, she should be on a blacklist somewhere...(I thought you meant YOUR chica.)